September 11, 2007

There’s an old saying that describes the start of my week: “Life is what happens while you’re making other plans.” I had every day this week planned down to the minute with campaign related events, starting with the Stevens County Republican Women’s Club lunch on Monday in Colville, followed by the Colville National Forest public meeting in Republic. That would have gotten me home around midnight, then up early for the Davenport Chamber of Commerce at 7 am followed by a regular work day and the Colville National Forest public meeting for Stevens County in Colville in the evening. Wednesday, Thursday and Friday have similar schedules. I figured it was going to be about a 1400 mile week. Executing my plan started with setting up a new pen for my sheep on Sunday evening so they’d have fresh pasture while I was on the campaign trail for the week.

What actually happened was a swarm of yellow jackets attacked my legs as I put up the third fence post. I ran back to the house for cover, killed a few that tried to tag along, and got bit a few times. I decided to counterattack, sprayed my clothes with the normal strength flying insect spray and headed out to finish putting up my fence. I approached the area cautiously, and discovered the second fence post was about 3 inches from a volcano of yellow jackets. As I raised my spray can to fire, they came at me. They laughed at my bug spray and attacked. I ran. They followed. I spent the next 24 hours under heavy doses of Benadryl to counteract a dozen bites, effectively canceling my Monday plans.

Tuesday morning I purchased two big cans of extra heavy duty professional wasp and hornet killer. This is war. I still hoped to get back on my schedule and be in Colville for the CNI meeting at 6 pm, all I had to do was get the fencing finished. Then the fire pager goes off mid-afternoon and three hours later I’m finally back home, but its clearly too late to make it to Colville tonight. I’m starting to think God has His own plans, and apparently I’m not supposed to be at those meetings.

I can’t really blame the yellow jackets for defending their territory, and likewise I’m going to defend my home turf from the vicious little predators. Good thing they aren’t cute and cuddly or they’d probably have a support group out marching against my plan for annihilation. They are the terrorists of the pasture and I want them stopped before they get to the house! I attack at dawn. I’ll be humming “Die Gotterdammerung” and thinking of the helicopter attack scene from “Apocalypse Now.”

I plan to be back on the campaign trail by 8 am – we shall see. Thousands of people at the World Trade Center six years ago, on the four flights that were hijacked, at the Pentagon – all had other plans. Never forget. Use each day wisely - hug your family, cherish your freedom, and be ready to defend your homeland.